Elton John is playing two sold-out shows at the Save-on-Foods Memorial Centre in Victoria this weekend.

Ever wonder what Elton John might think of Victoria?

Some dubious insight into what it may have been like the last time he followed the Yellow Brick Road to Vancouver Island

So if you are among the 750,000-or-so Vancouver Islanders not rubbing elbows with Elton John this weekend, there are tickets still available to his ‘sold-out’ two-night stay.

At least there were Thursday morning.

Stubhub had a pair down nice and low for the Sunday show, right behind the stage for only $566. (You caught the behind the stage part, right?) We also found two pairs on the floor for Saturday’s show: one set for $1,000 and the other for $1,500. And there was a pair available in the lower bowl for $1,255.

Hope you saved up.

We also hope that you are so happy we found you some tickets that you won’t notice we didn’t get you an interview with Sir Elton. We tried. We didn’t succeed.

Apparently, when you are a 70-year-old friend of royalty who has sold 250 million records, has the best-selling single of all-time (the 37-million-selling Candle in the Wind) and your two Victoria concerts sell out within minutes of the ticket window opening, you don’t really need the media’s help to promote your shows.

Fortunately, VI Free Daily correspondent Joel Tansey was able to do some digging and discovered a battered notebook that appears to contain John’s musings about Victoria from around the time of his 2011 visit. They were allegedly scrawled in the back of limousine as he Crawled his way back from an early supper in the Bengal Lounge to his room in the Langford Traveller’s Inn.

A guy we stopped on the street outside of Lyle’s Place agrees they appear to match the poetic metre of the hit song “Tiny Dancer.”

 

‘Tiny’ Traffic Jam

Deep blue Audis, Raised F-1 Fifties, learner permits left and right

Crawling now, you’ll inch along, hoping to get home to watch the game

McKenzie, you must have been there, sitting at the light

And now it’s being rebuilt, even slower, should have been done years ago

 

Cycling geeks out in the street

Pedalling through the rain

Turning back they just laugh

The Goose is faster than the Crawl

 

Transit man, he may have to stand

On the double decker bus

Looking on, they listen to a song

Driver’s so bored he hums along

 

But oh how this feels so real

Driving here with everyone near

And it’s 6 o’clock and you can hear me

When I say loudly, angrily

 

Hurry up you damn truckers

Count the brake lights on the highway

Irration’lly angry at the red plates

Crawl’s had a busy day today

 

Hurry up you damn truckers

Count the brake lights on the highway

Irrationally angry at the red plates

Crawl’s had a busy day today

 

Elton John and his band play the Save-on-Foods Memorial Centre in Victoria Saturday and Sunday.

If the spoilers on the internet about an expansive setlist are any indication, those going with expectations of hearing the Crocodile Rocker’s biggest hits will not be leaving the arena disappointed.

— VI Free Daily