Office Politics 101: From friendship to . . . ?

Q: A guy I work with — and quite like — has invited me to go hiking with him for the weekend.  We’d be staying in a cabin with another unmarried couple.  It sounds like fun, but I’m also a bit hesitant. Your thoughts?

A: Most friendships begin at work, so it’s not surprising you have been presented with this opportunity. It also must be nice to have received this invitation as you have some feelings for him.

You are both single which, of course, allows you to consider a relationship.  Nonetheless, your hesitancy is understandable and I presume you wish to be cautious and not place yourself in an awkward situation.

Your decision to accept or decline the invitation is very much a personal matter but, at the same time, you should also consider the optics of what could transpire, even after the weekend.

Gossip can be found in many offices and, should you decide to go with him, it is probable others will learn about it, even if you decide not to mention it.  Gossipers, unfortunately, don’t have a particular affection for the truth and may make flawed assumptions about the relationship.

In addition, you should consider how you believe the friendship might progress if you were to accept the invitation.  While you quite like him — as you note — it is quite another thing to begin a trajectory which may take you in a direction which offers significant momentum.

Remember, too, that should you go away for the weekend, your relationship with him will almost certainly be altered — even if you are not intimate in any way.

One further note: if the fellow is your supervisor — or in a more senior position —  you probably should be even more wary.  Under these conditions, he is in a position of authority over you which could complicate your working relationship.

Incidentally, you don’t mention if the other couple is also employed in your office.  If one or both of them also work with you, it may impact any future communication on the job.

To a large extent, your decision will likely be based on trust.  If you respect him and feel he has your best interests in mind, you might accept; if, on the other hand, you have some misgivings about his character, or do not know him that well, you may decline, at least for now.

Office friendships are to be treasured and valued.  It is great you have been invited for a fun weekend, but there are other issues you will need to address.  Any decision should be considered with careful reflection and a sense of how the relationship might grow.

 

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to simongibson@shaw.ca

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Posted

People’s Party of Canada plan to have a candidate in the North Island-Powell River riding

Elections Canada formally recognized the North Island—Powell River PPC Association

NVIATS takes over NIEFS space in Thunderbird Mall

“We were approached by NIEFS, they’re going to be downsizing”

Port Hardy Reigns compete in Nanaimo at Island Championships

“We are very fortunate to have this opportunity for our youth in Port Hardy”

Derina Harvey Band – Heartfelt, Energetic, Celtic rock comes to Port Hardy

Front-woman Derina Harvey leads this Celtic-rock act, who offer an authentic east-coast experience.

OPINION: Urgent care room will cost lives

“Seniors, of any demographic, are the most vulnerable to the loss of emergency care.”

VIDEO: Driver in bizarre hit-and-run at B.C. car dealership turns herself in

Police believe alcohol was a factor in incident causing estimated $15,000 in damages

‘B.C. cannot wait for action’: Top doctor urges province to decriminalize illicit drugs

Dr. Bonnie Henry says current approach in ‘war on drugs’ has criminalized and stigmatized drug users

B.C. woman, 76, challenges alcohol-screening laws after failing to give breath sample

Norma McLeod was unable to provide a sample because of her medical conditions

New report on 2017 wildfires calls for better coordination with B.C. First Nations

Tsilhqot’in National Government documents 2017 disaster and lists 33 calls to action

B.C. youth coach banned amid sexual harassment, bullying scandal: Water Polo Canada

Justin Mitchell can’t take part in Water Polo Canada events or clubs

Wilson-Raybould: Feds want to just ‘manage the problem’ of Indigenous Peoples

Former federal justice minister speaks at First Nations Justice Council meeting in B.C.

Female real estate agents warned of suspicious man in Metro Vancouver

The man requests to see homes alone with the female agent, police say

Can you put your phone down for Mother’s Day?

#DiningMode campaign encourages people to leave the phone alone while eating

Horgan heckled as gas prices sit at record high, could go up more

Premier John Horgan blames refiners, not taxes

Most Read